25 Words on 25 More Albums from 2016

G.L.O.S.S. – Trans Day of Revenge

Hardcore bands consider themselves the voice of outcasts and the marginalized. Sometimes, that is actually the case. This EP is seven minutes in trans heaven.

YG – Still Brazy

I find it difficult impossible to rectify the 90s West Coast vibe of this album against the vile, intentional misogyny of “She Wish She Was.”

Aborted – Retrogore

The ninth full-length from these Belgian death metal masters. Retrogore is a collosal mix of speed, precision, riffage, and brutality. Headbang yourself into the hospital.

Behexen – The Poisonous Path

Absolutely and utterly relentless thrashy black metal from the Hellish depths of some primeval Finnish forest. Good luck escaping this album with all your marbles.

Agoraphobic Nosebleed – Arc

Agoraphobic Nosebleed once released a 99-song 3” minidisc that spanned 20 minutes. This is 30 minutes of Eyehategod worship across three songs. Diversity in devastation!

Christian Naujoks – Wave

Guitar-based soundscapes of glittery gloom. Notes fly off in every direction and dissipate into endless looping. Share this with friends on a hot, still night.

Sylvaine – Wistful

Blackened shoegaze a la Alcest from this Norwegian multi-instrumentalist. A brooding pathos undergirds the album’s lightness while everything feels like it’s always floating further away.

Gevurah – Hallelujah!

Quebecois black metal rooted in snarling riffs and Jewish mysticism. A nearly constant barrage of riffs and ferocious vocals. They’re Jenna Maroney’s favourite metal band.

Oranssi Pazuzu – Varahtelija

From a text to Steven: “I swear these dudes are conjurin' up some wild shit from the depths and castin' mad spells and shit.” Madness.

Lust for Youth – Compassion

Imagine the thrill of dancing with everyone you love but the sadness of knowing it’s a dream but the joy of knowing the dream persists.

The Body – No One Deserves Happiness

Cataclysmic doom interspersed with somber choral vocals and sometimes supported by quasi-pop synth beats. The Body constantly reimagines what the apocalypse will probably sound like.

Church of Misery – And Then There Were None

Things that are possible in this life: a sustained, illustrious career of combining the heaviest blues riffs imaginable with a morbid fascination in serial killers.

V/A – Doused in Mud, Soaked in Bleach

The third and final Robotic Empire tribute to Nirvana teaches us what we already knew: Thou fucking rules and Beach Slang fucking doesn't. Uh doy.

Olan Mill – Land Cycle

The soundtrack to lying down and letting a billion imperceptible beads of sand slowly cover your naked body and transform you into a beautiful dune.

Explosions in the Sky – The Wilderness

This is the first time I’ve ever thought an Explosions in the Sky album should be longer. What a whimsical triumph of casting off burdens!

Graves at Sea – The Curse That Is

This is High on Fire if HoF didn’t bore me to tears. Yes, those are fightin’ words. Yes, I want to fight. Sike j/k ilu.

Turnover – Humblest Pleasures 7”

Turnover can write a song about a li’l afternoon delight and somehow still make me cry. Let’s all love and regret and love all over.

Sunflower Bean – Human Ceremony

20-year old kids from New York playing music that is, like, twice their age. Guitar music ain’t dead, it’s just too damn cool for you.

Savages – Adore Life

Female-fronted British post-punk with a serious mean streak. Savages set out to be as bleak as possible about all the things that make them happy.

Nails – You Will Never Be One of Us

Between Weekend Nachos’ Apology and this new Nails album, we misanthropes have enough fodder to keep us scowling well into 2017. This is just reckless.

V/A – SLOW VOLUMES: One

If you walk around with this album at a low volume, you can only tell you’re listening to music because of how weightless you feel.

Fister/Teeth – Split 7”

Fister is so heavy that every time you put this record on the turntable, you can’t believe it’s actually supposed to be set at 33rpm.

TWIABP – Long Live Happy Birthday 7”

“Away with God, away with Love,” sings David Bello on “Katamari Duquette,” and here I am in absolute shambles over it every single goddamn time.

Youth Code – Commitment to Complications

KMFDM on steroids from the dude who once made the world mosh with “Off My Chest.” I’d still maybe just rather listen to KMFDM, though.

Forteresse – Themes pour la Rebellion

At this point, it seems only safe to assume that Quebec is mere moments away from being entirely engulfed in flames and reduced to ash.

25 Words on 25 Albums from 2016

Chance the Rapper – Coloring Book

Predominantly more effusive than it is gospel, the album’s religiosity becomes grating only towards the final tracks. This is a well-produced and well-rapped summertime treat.

The Hotelier – Goodness

As stripped-down an emo record as you might ever find. The Hotelier effortlessly casts off the genre’s supposed limitations while still never straying too far.

Weekend Nachos – Apology

“Have you ever experienced real brutality?” asked Weekend Nachos on Worthless’ “S.C.A.B.” Well, now I have. A swan song to beat the earth to death.

Cult of Luna & Julie Christmas – Mariner

Who knew, that in 2016, Cult of Luna would figure as the most important godhead of the holy Cult of Neurisis triumvirate? A staggering album.

A$AP Ferg – Always Strive and Prosper

Fergy Ferg graduates from Trap Lord to Hood Pope to uneven results. Nothing measures up to singles “Hungry Ham,” “New Level,” and “Let it Bang.”

Sturgill Simpson – A Sailor’s Guide to Earth

An attempt to broaden his audience beyond diehard “true” country fans, this album is Oscar’s fetid corpse rotting in his foreclosed trashcan levels of garbage.

Library Tapes – Escapism

The appropriately entitled Escapism features neo-classical ambience with an economy of space that demands repeated listening. It is a delicately balanced entryway into contemplative requiescence.

Eagulls – Ullages

Gothy post-punk that owes as much to the Cure as it does the Clash. This has post-Thatcherism British angst and ennui written all over it.

Pity Sex – White Hot Moon

Their strongest effort to date. Though it lacks the grittiness of the debut, it is emotionally mature and devastating. Catch some feelings over catchy hooks!

Wode – Wode

I don’t know if there’s anything entirely novel about this British band’s particular brand of black metal, but everything is executed pitch-perfectly. A true ripper.

Kanye West – The Life of Pablo

I love “I Love Kanye,” but this album is a (purposeful) mess, and I have absolutely zero patience for it. Will I ever listen again?

Self Defense Family – Superior and The Power does not Work on Nonbelievers

Two EPs! One review! I purchase SDF albums indiscriminately. The spacy, bizarre “Deersong” is a nice departure for the prolific but possibly plateauing punk band.

Mike & The Melvins – Three Men and a Baby

Tough question: Everybody Loves Sausages (a cover album) aside, have the Melvins released a front-to-back good album since 2008’s Nude with Boots? I don’t know.

Spotlights – Tidals

As boring as the name, the album name, and the artwork, this attempted coalescing of shoegaze and sludge is utterly forgettable. Don’t believe the hype.

Thou/Barghest – I Hate Thou / Eyehatethou

Let’s just focus on Thou: “The Mystery of Contradictions,” one of Thou’s heaviest tracks, ends up turning into an abridged cover of Eyehategod’s “Blank.” Whew.

Modern Baseball – Holy Ghost

It’s not as gleefully adolescent as their previous records but maintains all the same infectious snot-nosed honesty. Not a growing up but a growing out.

Arbor Labor Union (FKA Pinecones) – I Hear You

Arbor Labor Union has always dared its audience to accept its joyful pronouncements on its own terms. They redefine what happiness looks and sounds like.

The Body + Full of Hell – One Day You Will Ache Like I Ache

A hulking mass of sprawl and detritus dragged through an urban apocalypse. It’s not so much music as it is an outpouring of unencumbered negativity.

Basement – Promise Everything

The title track proves that Basement is best when they haven’t forgotten the aggressiveness of punk rock as they continue to explore their 90s revivalism.

Nothing – Tired of Tomorrow

If we look back on this album as the culmination of the concomitant revivals of shoegaze and 90s alternative, I will say, "This is true.”

Culture Abuse – Peach

Imagine if Weezer was a 90s skate punk band that loved Agent Orange and Dick Dale and had enough edge to stay off the radio.

Gates – Parallel Lives

My premature excitement over Breathe and Bloom won’t be replicated. Gates tries to expand its sound but falters under the weight of its own pretensions.

War Hungry – Chopped and Screwed Mixes

This is a bit of a novelty, but the heaviness and how much this silly idea works makes it absolutely worth blasting at obscene volumes.

Brian Eno – The Ship

I find it endlessly inspiring that, after forty plus years making music, Brian Eno just discovered he could sing in the key of low C.