BoJack Horseman is one of my favorite
shows currently on the air, and it potentially tops the list. It features some
of the funniest throwaway jokes and sight gags since the golden age of The Simpsons. The wordplay is nothing
short of astounding. The jokes in just the names of people, places, and things
are too numerous to catch without multiple viewings (and I'm sure I haven't
caught them all). And somehow, while managing to consistently be hilarious, it
is also simultaneously one of the saddest things I have ever seen. I cannot
think of a more raw, intense, honest portrayal of someone who is deeply,
painfully depressed. Don Draper and Tony Soprano were great, but we never got
into their heads in quite the way we do with BoJack. It hurts to watch
sometimes, because it is just so shockingly true to life. Except that it's
about a talking Hollywoo(d) horse person.
All
of the main characters are complex and interesting in their own right. In their
totally bizarre world, they all seem real. The humor and pathos complement each
other perfectly. The fourth season followed couch-surfer extraordinaire Todd Chavez's
exploration of his newly realized asexuality. It is handled with compassion and
nuance, and, again, it feels real. It's the first time to my knowledge that
there has been an expressly asexual character in a television show. However, I
could be wrong, and people with much more knowledge on the subject have
discussed this and will discuss it better than I ever could. What I do feel
comfortable getting into is one of the other recurring motifs of Todd's incredible
life: FOOD.
I
had not thought about it much until the fourth season included some truly
spectacular food items, but Todd spends a sizable portion of his screentime
either eating food or talking about food. A lot of it is pretty mundane; he
eats a lot of cereal; he likes finger food, burgers, and pizza; he enjoys fruit-filled
colorful mixed drinks in hurricane glasses. Todd has also shown some really
inspired food ideas that are worth mentioning specifically. They don't necessarily
further the plot, but they certainly give the viewer a glimpse inside the mind
of Todd. He might be some kind of junk food genius. With dishes reconstructed and
photographed by the inimitable Sarah B. Carey, I taste tested some of the most
exciting food experiments that Todd has come up with during the first four
seasons of the show, and I rated them out of a possible five stars. Whenever
meat was involved, we used a veggie substitute. You do what you have to do.
Cotton candy dipped in Froot Loops style cereal - Season 1, Episode
4
Pre-credits scene. This is Todd's
BREAKFAST. He is an absolute madman. He eats a lot of cereal. He's eating cereal
immediately when his character is introduced. He's eating cereal in the show's
opening credits. As for this "meal", it was honestly not nearly as
awful as I expected it to be. I was prepared for a melted disgusting rainbow
puddle, but Chef Sarah managed to make this sugar madness hold together in a
manageable way. The taste was, unsurprisingly, basically just sugar. It was
almost unbearably sweet. I did not pick up much flavor from the cereal. That
being said, the texture was surprisingly good. The fluffy airiness of the
cotton candy was really pleasant with the crunch of the cereal. The cotton candy
actually held onto the loops with just a tiny amount of the milk, but for the
sake of accuracy, I tried some dipped in the milk as well. It was decidedly
less good. Rather than just melting the cotton candy, it turned it into a weird
jelly. The cereal became squishy very quickly, and the texture of the sugar
slop jelly was not good at all. I can really only recommend the relatively dry
version of this dish, if one is so inclined to try it. If sickening amounts of
sugar are your thing, then dive in!
2/5
stars
"FaWaffle" - Season 1, Episode 12
Todd's concept art for this dish
closes out his arc for the first season. It's a great note to go out on. After
the idea for the "Smoodie" (a mood you can drink) falls through, Todd
comes up with this.
5/5
stars
"Mice Krispies" with "Alpine Sweat" - Season 2,
Episode 2
This is clearly supposed to be Rice
Krispies with Mountain Dew. I hope everyone reached the same conclusion. That's
the dish recreated here, anyway! We actually used generic brand versions of
each ingredient. This, again, was not nearly as awful as I assumed it would be.
The liquid mixing with the cereal made a much louder sound than I expected, and
this is with the knowledge that they are both relatively noisy types of food
and liquid. It was pretty unsettling to look at as it sat there. The entire
surface bubbled and quivered as if it was alive, struggling to breathe. I
couldn't really see the liquid under the cereal, so it was just a sickly,
shining puffed rice mass undulating in the bowl. I did not really want to eat
this in the first place, but I really did not want to while looking at it. Much
to my surprise, the taste was not that bad initially. It was very effervescent,
and the less saturated cereal only had a tiny hint of the soda flavor. Once I
got down to the soda pool, things changed. It was a terrible soup of mushy
cereal in neon green sugar piss. Each spoonful was more upsetting than the
last. It was really awful, and I poured most of the poison down the drain. I
also ate this immediately after eating the cotton candy cereal concoction, so I
ingested more sugar in the span of about half an hour than I had in the entire
week prior, and I felt really disgusting afterward.
1/5
stars
Nachos in a baseball glove - Season 2, Episode 6
I was pretty concerned about the
logistics of this one. We fudged it a bit and lined the glove with wax paper.
SORRY. I'm trying to eat a disgusting mess, not make a disgusting mess. Todd
pitches (no pun intended) an idea for a "bagel catcher," which
actually turns out to just be a baseball glove. We tested that as well, and a
baseball glove can indeed be used to a catch a bagel. Later in the same episode,
Todd is seen just hanging out eating nachos out of the glove for some reason. This
actually worked pretty spectacularly. Food wise, it was super simple. The
cheese sauce Sarah made had the perfect consistency I expect from ballpark
nachos, and it was actually delicious. It seems like something you might
actually get served at a baseball game: Free Glove Day (with purchase of
nachos). I really enjoyed that I was able to walk around and eat the nachos
without feeling like I was holding a plate of nachos. I had BECOME the plate.
What this dish lacks in creativity, ingredients-wise, it definitely makes up for
in presentation and taste. Play ball!
3.5/5
stars
Spaghetti and meatballs in a baseball glove - Season 2, Episode 6
This was from the same episode as
above. Todd was really trying to make the most of having that baseball glove, I
guess. Again, we lined the glove with wax paper, because we are cowards. I was
pretty concerned with how this would go down, mostly because Todd eats this
dish with chopsticks. Normally, I'm fine with chopsticks. I've never had any
trouble eating with chopsticks, but for some reason I was having some bizarre
cognitive dissonance associated with the thought of eating spaghetti and
meatballs with them. I was really worried I would screw up, and in trying not
to make a mess, overcorrect and end up throwing a baseball glove full of
spaghetti across the room. Fortunately, this did not happen. It was fine.
Everything was fine. The spaghetti was fine. The beanballs Sarah made to
replace the meatballs were great, as was the sauce. The dissonance carried over
into my eating experience though. It just seemed wrong to eat it like that. The
chopsticks and the glove really threw me off on this one. I learned I'm kind of
a spaghetti snob. But it worked fine. I guess it was all fine.
3/5
stars
Hotdogs wrapped in a pizza - Season 3, Episode 6
This is one of those Todd food moments
that just happens incidentally to the rest of the action at the time, but it is
highly indicative of the subtle genius of who he is. Conceptually, this works
great. Sarah made a little personal pizza that was cooked through exactly
enough that it wasn't doughy and it was still foldable. This is really critical
to the success of this dish. Three jumbo veggie dogs fit perfectly into the
pizza taco. The thing was so packed that if the crust had been any harder, it
would have just squeezed all of the filling out and been a terrible sad mess.
When Todd attempts to eat his hotdog-pizza-taco, the dogs all slide out the
back. It's a very disappointing moment. Also, this is one of the most filling
things I've ever eaten. It was a very real challenge to finish this very small
pizza taco. I commend Todd's bravery for attempting this dish with such large
hotdogs and pizza. Flavor-wise, however, this did not quite do it for me. I
like hotdogs, but I love pizza. This could possibly be a game-changer with
Italian sausage or something. Hotdogs just don't seem right in this
arrangement. Sarah disagrees and thinks this is absolutely perfect. What do I
know?
3.5/5
stars
Neapolitan ice cream on a cheeseburger - Season 4, Episode 1
This was the moment when I really
started to think about what Todd had been doing with food all this time.
Watching him casually plop ice cream on top of a burger had my mind reeling.
Was this something he had done before? Was it just instinct? Why didn't anyone
ever question him when he did these things? I do not have any answers to these
questions, but I am shocked and delighted to say that this thing was fucking awesome.
It might be the pinnacle of the sweet/savory and hot/cold combination. Sarah
made a black bean burger topped with cheddar cheese, red onion, tomato, and
lettuce. Todd used a sesame seed bun, but we only had pretzel buns available.
It almost immediately started to become a mess, which I typically hate, but it
was so good I didn't even care. The layering of veggies on the burger actually
helped to keep the ice cream from melting as fast as it otherwise would
have. Each of the three ice cream
flavors was distinct, and the strawberry was especially bonkers in combination
with everything else. There were no other condiments on the one I had, so I
cannot speak to how they would change the flavor profile. I don't think they're
necessary. I cannot recommend this burger enough. This is life-affirming junk
food of the highest caliber.
5/5
stars
Churro-flavored waffles - Season 4, Episode 1
Todd is very busy in the opening
episode of season 4. He spends a fair amount of time eating kettle corn while
stuck on an out-of-control drone. This is after his girlfriend breaks up with
him. It makes sense that he needs some sleep after all that. However, there can
be no rest for the creative genius. He lurches out of a dream and shouts
"churro-flavored waffles!" What was happening in that dream? Why was
it frightening? Does his inspiration come with the cost of troubled sleep? We
may never know. What I do know, however, is that these waffles were pretty dang
good! Sarah made her regular waffles with some cinnamon mixed into the batter,
then rolled the waffles in more cinnamon and sugar. They were topped with maple
syrup, and the whole thing was so simple, I don't know why I haven't been
having it my whole life. Other than the amount of sugar involved. I would eat
these every morning until the diabetes killed me.
4.5/5
stars
S'mores in a baguette - Season 4, Episode 3
This, for some reason, is the food
item that Todd actually singles out as his million-dollar idea. Sarah and I
disagreed on how the construction should go. I immediately assumed it meant
using a baguette instead of graham crackers to contain the marshmallows and
chocolate, while Sarah imagined that the graham crackers would be inside the
baguette. I think either interpretation is valid, given that it's never actually
seen in the show. Who am I to decide? I'll leave that to more learned minds.
Sarah made both anyway, and I have to say it doesn't seem to matter either way,
because neither was particularly exciting. Without the graham crackers, the
bread simply overwhelmed the flavor. With the graham crackers added, not only
did the bread overwhelm the flavor, but also graham cracker crumbs exploded
everywhere. They became a fine dust that I had the displeasure of inhaling
while choking down singed vegan marshmallows. At best it was bland, at worst it
tried to kill me, and I frankly wish I'd just eaten the baguette on its own.
Maybe we were both wrong?
2/5
stars
So there you have it, a sampling of
culinary delights, courtesy of Todd: the master of munchies, the snack savant.
This list is by no means exhaustive. Todd eats entire plates of spaghetti in a
single bite, covers french fries in absurd amounts of ketchup, and he seems to
love all varieties of Woofles brand chips. He takes bubble baths in champagne,
stores sandwich halves under his hat, and has many other weird and wonderful
food-related moments. Todd is a true maverick and an inspiration, and I can't wait to see what else
he comes up with.
